My home seemed to be the epicenter of all this hubbub. Such exuberant behavior is normally reserved for the return of the McRib but this felt different.There were even protesters carrying "Masturbation is a Victimless Crime" placards. Hell, I didn't know it was a crime of any kind. If so, I'm one lesbian dream away from a lethal injection. Opening the door, there stood a familiar face. "Frank, what the fuck is going on?" I could barely hear myself think above the cacophony outside. Chants of, "play Freebird" was deafening. I'm a Southern girl and required by law to like Skynyrd but even I didn't want to hear "Freebird" performed by the George Wallace marching band."These kind folks all saw our social media posts and want to see you. Your video went viral!" Frank gleefully said, providing exposition.I've been viral many times before, as the Health Dept. can attest, but never with this reaction. I stepped outside to thunderous applause. Bowing like the diva I strive to be I noticed. Can you help us out?” Richard said.“Certainly, I am not a Realtor, yet – but I can direct you to my father, who is available on a phone calls notice. What are you looking for?”“We are both students, transferring to the University of Oregon, Portland Campus. We don’t want to live near the campus, actually,” Rich said.“So, in other words, you don’t want to enjoy the college style, because you want to just take your classes and go home to peace and quiet every day, is that it?” I said.“ ... Uh, how did you figure that out?” Lily asked.“I graduated from there less than a month ago, when I moved back home to see my parents and my girlfriend again – Sari, come on out, please?”She came around the corner, smiling and extended her hand to them. Lily saw Sari’s ring and said, “When are you getting married?”“As soon as I’m through high school, I’m only 16,” she said proudly.“I’d love to hear how you two met, but we need to stay on task,” Lily said.Sari excused herself, and went back to the.
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